ATTENTION! ATTENTION! A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Dear Fuck-bags from the 905 region:

When I am riding my bike home with my boyfriend, please do not think it is acceptable to stop your lame acura/whatever piece of shit car you are driving, and tell me: "nice shorts, honey".

I will not jump off my bike and be like: "thanks! can I catch a ride with you?"

Your tribal tats do nothing for me, and if you realize, guys who 'holler at girls rarely ever have real-life girlfriends.

And if you think yelling at my boyfriend: "hey 'bro you better fuck her, because I already did!" makes any sense, then please fuck right off because I am pretty sure I didn't fuck you, nor will I ever. Basically, you should commit suicide (or start planning it) because your eventually going to realize how much of a complete piece of crap you are. To add to it, your parents will probably divorce because they hate the fact they created such a loser.

All I am saying is that the majority of girls aren't flattered or "turned on" by such behavior. They are more likely to barf up the $10 dollar bottle of wine and Crispy grilled chicken sandwich combo from McDonald's that they had ingested two hours before.

Hope your engine caught fire as you attempted to drag race with someone on the DVP.