Since investing in my food processor I have become addicted to cooking shows. Since I am a woman, I generally get my fix on Viva. It's aimed at women who clearly love being women, not in the "I hate patriarchy" way but more in the "I love my sexy curves and seducing young men." Sometimes, when I watch Viva I feel like I have aged 30 years and understand menopause.
But back to the subject at hand.
One of the cooking shows that I am drawn to is "Simple, Fresh, Delicious" with Livoni Walker. Now, it isn't because I think she is charming to watch - she's an Aussie and if I know anything about Aussies is that only two good things came out of Australia: the catch phrase "the dingo took the babbie shopping" and the film Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
But, what takes the cringe cake isn't her obnoxious accent, or the fact that she uses enough butter to make even Mario Batali cringe, it is those damn acrylic nails!
Who the hell wears acrylic nails anymore? I get if your a cast member of Jersey Shore or if your name is Carly-Anne and your dressed head to toe in baby-blue velour Rocca Wear, but come on! Livoni, YOU ARE ON A COOKING SHOW WHERE THEY ZOOM IN ON YOUR HANDS FOR GODS SAKE GET THOSE NAILS REMOVED.
Don't get me wrong, I am in no means against a nice manicured hand, but can't you get them short and round with a nice deep red polish? All I can picture is ground beef being stuck under those bad boys.
What if halfway through an episode they show a hand shot and you pinky nail on your right hand is missing? Next thing you know it is in the chicken stew. It gives new meaning to "chicken surprise."
Ok Livoni, head down to Nail, Wax, Toe, and fork over the $10 it costs to get your nails removed and make your viewers happy.
Thanks.
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